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When you lot've been hurt later a pause-up, you may want to mask your hurting or notice ways to heal. Jumping into another relationship or "rebounding" every bit way to get over (or get back at) your ex is ane way to move on. But does this really give that new guy a hazard? And is information technology actually fair to the other person? Earlier you start to appointment someone, information technology's important to actually process what happened with your ex and learn to dearest yourself.

  1. ane

    Set aside time to assess your feelings. Yous may be harboring feelings of resentment, guilt, or frustration about your contempo interruption-up. Information technology's important to face those feelings rather than mask them with a new relationship. A intermission-up can feel like a deep loss. Give yourself fourth dimension to mourn the past. [1]

    • A process of self-reflection can assist with healing. Exist willing to wait in, and not only outward, about how to cope with the cease of a relationship. The kickoff of a new relationship may seem outwardly like you've moved on, simply information technology's important to address how you lot're really feeling.
    • If you're still in love and thinking about your ex, jumping into a relationship or having sex out of spite might be harmful to you in the long run.
    • Don't utilise or abuse another guy but to get back at your ex.

  2. 2

    Write down what yous're feeling. Expressing yourself through words tin can help you with the healing process. It tin can be scary when you're alone or don't have a pregnant other. But it'due south far worse to hurt a new guy's feelings or pretend that you're over someone. Let out your feelings through writing so that you can move on in a real and honest style. [2]

    • Consider writing in a journal every day to process your feelings. Use this just for your private thoughts. Avert sharing information technology in public spaces such as an online weblog or other social media.
    • Writing can be cathartic or a grade of emotional release. Information technology helps you to understand what yous're feeling rather than pushing away or masking your feelings.
    • Though writing can be helpful, avoid spending too much time on venting. Thirty minutes of writing a solar day should suffice.

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  3. three

    Inquire yourself questions. If you're starting to date again, but still hung up on the previous ex, then information technology's important to ask yourself what yous're feeling. Detect out more than about what your intentions are and why you lot're interim this way. This is helpful to understand whether yous're really into a guy, or just trying to forget your ex for a little while. Enquire yourself:[3]

    • Are you seeking out this new guy because you feel lonely or considering you enjoy his company?
    • Are you agape of being single?
    • When yous allow yourself to think about the break upwards, what do you feel? (Sad, mad, heartbroken, ill, etc.).
    • Do you fantasize oft about running into your ex with your new date?
    • Are you lot dating to seemingly show off that you've moved on? Are you more than focused on what others retrieve rather than who yous're actually dating?
    • When you think most your ex are y'all able to wish him well despite what y'all've been through?
    • Do you always talk nigh your ex with your new guy?
    • Are you focused on making comparisons between your new guy and your ex?
    • Practice y'all still experience lonely or sad fifty-fifty when you lot are with your new guy?

  4. 4

    Seek back up from friends and family. Before you endeavor to effigy out if the new guy is your adjacent best thing, talk with people that you trust. Get their communication about what they've been through later a human relationship ends. They may help you to sympathise the situation amend.[4]

    • Learn to let go and find back up. Don't feel similar you're worthless or unlovable just because of this break-up. Everyone has had some kind of loss before. Y'all're non lonely.
    • Make an active choice to find true friends rather than just some other relationship. Avoid clinging onto someone new to make you feel better about yourself. Friends who care nearly y'all will be more reliable and supportive during a difficult time.

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  1. i

    Evaluate your social media use. In our modern age, catastrophe a relationship may still have loose ends with regards to social media similar Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. If you're still "friends" with your ex via social media, assess how often you lot find yourself on their feed. Are yous constantly checking on what they're doing?[v]

    • Limit your time on social media sites later a suspension-up. Social media sites often give false impressions of real life. They tend to focus on the positive, happy times. But real life is not what's on Instagram.
    • Avoid spending time looking at your ex's feed or the feeds of your ex's friends. If yous tin't be present with your new guy, you're likely still hung up on the old one.
    • Appraise the types of photos you're posting. Are you posting pictures to possibly get the attention of your ex? Or are y'all posting pictures because you're genuinely happy with the new guy?

  2. 2

    Avoid comparing your new guy to your ex. A new guy should not be a "replacement" for the terminal one. No ii people and no two relationships volition be the same. Avoid looking for a new person to appointment and so you can emulate the feelings you had with your ex. [six]

    • Focus on being present with the new guy in your life. If you seem to exist constantly distracted or comparing him to your ex, information technology can be difficult to notice out if you really like the guy.
    • On the other hand, avoid using a new guy as a "crutch." Don't exist fooled that a new guy will set everything.
    • You may be inclined to find someone who'southward the verbal opposite of your ex. While at times this may work, don't try to notice someone who is completely unlike just to avert being reminded of your ex. Recollect about the qualities that actually matter to you in a relationship.

  3. 3

    Focus on loving yourself. Make sure to take time for yous. Being unmarried is not a bad or negative thing. The well-nigh important love in your life is yourself. You accept worth and value.[7]

    • Get to know what matters to you. Notice out what makes you happy and confident in yourself.
    • Find passion in life rather than seeking another guy to validate you as a person. Avoid feeling similar you tin only practise things when you lot're with someone. Try new things on your own. Accept classes that interest you. Notice hobbies that fulfill yous. Be adventurous.

  4. 4

    Assess what you desire from your side by side relationship. Every relationship and every break-up is a growing experience. It's a time to learn most yourself and discover out what truly makes you happy. While it is important to be accepting of new relationships and new people, information technology'southward important to think almost what really matters for your happiness.

    • Don't exist blinded by looks alone. Retrieve about what makes a expert relationship for y'all. Does the guy you're interested in seem to be a practiced fit for you lot? Or is he just a friendly person who seems prissy?
    • A salubrious human relationship revolves around honey, kindness, honesty, joy, patience, openness, and loyalty.[8]
    • Think about what your deal breakers are. Is this new guy already in a human relationship or dating multiple people? Is he trustworthy? Is he often aroused or calumniating? Is he inattentive or uncaring? Does he have a history of STDs? Does he have a drug or booze trouble?[9]

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  1. 1

    Take time to know the guy y'all're interested in. Practise you like the new guy because he'south beautiful, funny, and smart? Or do you like him because he reminds you lot of your ex? It can be easier to look for a new human relationship that's simply like the old one. It may make you happy for a few dates, but it'south less likely to concluding.

    • If the new guy seems interesting because he reminds you of your ex, you may be rebounding.
    • Similarly, if the guy has all the reverse traits of your ex, you could exist overcorrecting—another sign of a rebound relationship.[x]

  2. 2

    Give the new guy a gamble. If y'all've been on a few dates with a guy, and feel similar at that place's a connection, don't presume he's only a rebound from your last relationship. On the other hand, don't assume that every new guy is fifty-fifty more wonderful than the last. [xi]

    • If a new guy is genuine, honest, and caring, don't but put him in the "rebound" category because it's a few weeks or months later your last relationship. This volition likely hurt the relationship, and hurt him if you make him feel less-than.
    • If you don't experience prepare to open up and be vulnerable, and so you might need to stride back and take a lilliputian more time to recover from your terminal human relationship.[12]

  3. three

    Be open and honest with someone new. Be articulate with them that you had a interruption-up, but that yous are hopeful for a hereafter relationship. No one can tell you lot when you're set up to start dating and opening yourself to love except you.

    • Share nearly yourself, but avoid oversharing all the details of your by human relationship. Don't try to rehash the break-upwards with a new guy in your life.
    • If you're feeling vulnerable, consider setting boundaries with any new person you date. Stay true to what y'all think it is correct for you lot to be safe and happy. Don't permit others make up one's mind for you.
    • Rebound relationships tend to become physical fast, and there's often more than concrete intimacy than emotional connection.[13]

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Add New Question

  • Question

    How can I tell if I really similar someone or he's just a rebound?

    Erika Kaplan

    Erika Kaplan is a Dating Coach and Matchmaker for 3 24-hour interval Rule, an sectional matchmaking company beyond nine cities in the United States. With over half-dozen years of experience, Erika specializes in helping singles discover quality matches through date coaching and premium matchmaking services. Erika graduated from Penn State with a Bachelor's degree in Public Relations. She worked for Rolling Stone, Us Weekly, and Men's Periodical before leaving publishing to pursue her passion for connecting people. Erika has been featured on Lifetime, the Philadelphia Inquirer, and CBS equally well as in Thrillist, Elite Daily, Men's Wellness, Fast Visitor, and Refinery29.

    Erika Kaplan

    Back up wikiHow past unlocking this adept reply.

    If the relationship feels strictly concrete or if you don't feel ready to open upwardly and exist vulnerable, it may be a rebound human relationship. Also, if yous're dating someone who has all the opposite traits of your ex, it's often a rebound relationship.

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  • Don't let your judgment be clouded. A expert guy volition not take advantage of you sexually because y'all're "on the rebound." Be safe when you're with someone new.

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References

  1. ↑ Erika Kaplan. Matchmaker. Expert Interview. ane Oct 2020.
  2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/web log/see-catch-and-go along/201405/can-rebound-relationship-exist-the-real-deal
  3. ↑ Erika Kaplan. Matchmaker. Expert Interview. ane October 2020.
  4. ↑ Erika Kaplan. Matchmaker. Practiced Interview. 1 Oct 2020.

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